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I'm adopted and Asimov's laws say I'm a robot.

Hi. I'm Emily. I'm an introverted robot, and I really like cats. In my pass time I read Time Magazine and listen to a lot of music. My hobbies include: calculating complex social issues and figuring out which bitch is going to punch first, cats, opera, reading, writing, and sometimes drawing situations around me and making light of them. I'm generally laid back, so feel free to peruse and follow at your own will.
Apr 22 '14
Apr 21 '14

(Source: morelikestinker)

Apr 21 '14

Cake Boss in a nutshell…

barebackbearyak:

Customer: I want a nice chocolate cake for my young son, and he likes trucks, so could you maybe do a little frosting picture of a truck on the top?

Cake Boss: SOS WHAT WES GUNNA DO IS MAKE A GIANT TRUCK ENTIRELY OUTTA RICE CRISPIES AND COVA DAT IN FONDANT AND IZ GUNNA SHOOT SPARKS AND CATCH FIYAH, POSSIBLY KILLIN YOUR SON IN DA PROCESS.

Apr 20 '14

princeowl:

will graham tries to solve the mystery of who’s been smoking all the Weed with the help of Harijuana Lecter 

Apr 20 '14

(Source: amberprotocol)

Apr 20 '14

mareeps:

my favorite mythical creatures are the happy girls in tampon commercials

(Source: neptunain)

Apr 20 '14
Apr 20 '14

ceciliadavidson:

somethingaboutdaftpunk:

Alright, it’s time! I do this daft giveaway for thank you all, you, my dear followers, my darlings. Thank you for always be there when I need you, thank you for like and reblog my posts, thank you for all the kind messages you send me. Thank you for being awesome!

This giveaway includes:

  • A split helmet unisex official t-shirt size M (comes with its card and its sleeve/never wore/still have the tag)
  • A “Lose Your Self To Dance” poster unofficial (this comes from a magazine, it’s not the official poster)
  • A set of seven 1.25” buttons
  • A set of two 2.25” buttons
  • One 2.25” pocket mirror
  • A 3D promo mask (never assembled)
  • The Daft Punk DVD “D.A.F.T: A story about Dogs, Androids, Firemen & Tomatoes”
  • The japanese edition of “Random Access Memories” with the bonus track “Horizon” (still sealed)
  • A Thomas Bangalter action figure (still sealed)
  • A Guy-Manuel De Homem-Christo action figure (still sealed)

Rules:

  • You have to be following me (I do this giveaway for thank my followers, so yeah.)
  • International giveaway!
  • Must be 18 years + or have parent permission. 
  • You must be willing to give me your address for the send.
  • The winner will be choosen by a random number generator.
  • Reblog only, likes don’t count but you still can like it as a bookmark.
  • You can reblog only 2 times per day for not spam your followers. If you don’t follow this rule you’ll be disqualified)
  • Please make sure your ask box is open! The winner will be contact via message
  • If the winner don’t respond within 2 days, I’ll choose another person (still with a random number generator).
  • No giveaway blog please.
  • Ends June 1st, 2014.

i really want the Japanese RAM

Apr 20 '14

(Source: mrchompers)

Apr 20 '14

(Source: bluecojiro)

Apr 20 '14

blushroom:

[swallows unlit cigarette] it’s a metaphor

Apr 20 '14

confidnet:

supersamurai91:

confidnet:

i wasted my last bagel my life is over

Just get some bread and cut out a circle

i have never been so offended in my entire life

Apr 20 '14

Will Graham? More like Will Dayum that man is very attractive.

Apr 20 '14

(Source: macarthurparker)

Jan 8 '14

fairtradehoney:

How Not To Be a Dick on the Internet
Orland Jones dropping knowledge via BuzzFeed

This man is a national treasure.